Sources tell MS Now’s Jake Traylor that DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro was seen arriving at the White House on Monday afternoon, presumably for a chat with the Orange Kingpin.

Convicted felon President Trump is “furious” with DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro for dropping the fake case against former Olympian Dave Hearn for “vandalizing” the Orange Slob’s precious reflecting pool, sources tell CNN, adding it’s “highly likely she’s removed from her job.”

Another one of Trump’s minions said Trump was “blindsided” by Pirro’s court filing admitting that Hearn hadn’t actually done anything wrong, adding “The president did not know beforehand that she was going to do that.” God forbid a crazy nutcase Fox News host would know when to give up.

Sensing some good Fox News hit out of it, House Judiciary shitbrain Jim Jordan on Monday sent a letter to New Jersey Lt Gov/Secretary of State Dale Caldwell, ceremoniously announcing that “The Committee on House Administration and the Committee on the Judiciary are charged with upholding American civil liberties and defending the integrity of American elections. During a July 21, 2026, press conference, New Jersey Governor Mikie Sherrill announced that approximately 6,600 noncitizens were registered to vote between June 2023 and June 2024 because the state Motor Vehicle Commission (MVC) sent the information of noncitizens who accurately marked they were not citizens to the Department of State’s Division of Elections and the noncitizens were then registered to vote. According to Governor Sherrill, around 400 of these individuals successfully voted in elections since 2023. We write to express our serious concerns with New Jersey apparently adding thousands of noncitizens to its voter rolls and to request information from the New Jersey Department of State about its compliance with applicable federal voting laws.”

“Iranian Leadership is unbelievably duplicitous! They ask for a meeting, some would say ‘beg,’ talks begin, with more scheduled in the immediate future, and they say, openly and proudly, that they’re not having any discussions, that nothing is being talked about, and they’re only dealing with ‘Oman.'”

“They then go on to give their usual blather in saying, the Strait of Hormuz will be operated powerfully by them, when it is already completely controlled by the United States Navy and our ‘Blockade’ or, as some say, ‘The United States Wall of Steel!’ Nothing gets through to Iran, unless we want it to, and nothing will get through, unless a Deal, or Total Surrender, is accomplished. Whether Iran wants to admit it or not, we are, in fact, talking of a solution to a problem that they have caused, for decades. It is very simple, IRAN WILL NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON!” posted the Orange Drama Queen on Monday, crying woefully as his reckless actions continue to bear consequences.

Mamdani says he wants to keep non-NYC residents out of city government run grocery stores by making sure shoppers use an ID: “We are looking to make sure that we target New Yorkers … sort of a library card-esque thing.” pic.twitter.com/T7KnTBK7kc

— TheBlaze (@theblaze) August 3, 2026

Pink blob Glenn Beck’s outlet The Blaze didn’t need to say it, the implication was clear in the quote from New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani in the above tweet that, because there might be some sort of system akin to a library card required to shop at the still-in-the-works NYC municipal grocery stores, every state should require voters to present a photo ID before casting a ballot.

The MAGAverse could do worse in terms of their arguments in favor of the SAVE America Act, and they have with that stupid “Olive Garden pasta pass” one from a few weeks ago. Plus this kind of retroactively validates convicted felon President Trump’s tortuous “you need an ID to buy groceries” line he trots out every now and then. It is however kind of hard to imagine it actually happening in practice simply because (A) there’s going to be a shit ton of demand and creating extra friction when these places finally open will in all likelihood prompt officials to scrap whatever requirement is in place and (B) It’s even harder to imagine some New Jerseyan or Long Islander suffering through traffic and then scarce parking to save only so much relative to continuing to shop at their local supermarket. And after all that it’s simply New York’s municipal version of Costco.

Nauru, the third-least populated sovereign nation on the planet with just 12,000, is shaking things up with a rebrand to a more locally-appropriate Naoero, and its demonym from Nauruan to dei-Naoero, President David Adeang announced on the government’s Facebook page last week, the AP reports.

Adeang had considered putting the name change to a referendum but figured the people would be fine with it since Parliament had voted in favor of the change. Naoero is now among several nations to have undergone name changes in the 21st century, most recently the Republic of North Macedonia – who caved and added the “North” after decades of disputes with neighboring Greece alleging misappropriation of its ancient region of the same name. That same year Eswatini ditched “Swaziland” for a more authentically African-sounding name for its absolute monarchy.

Hopefully certain other leaders don’t get the idea that countries can be rebranded fairly easily.

“My REAL Polling Numbers, not those made up by the Fake News Media, are the best they have ever been, and why wouldn’t they be with the biggest tax cuts and employment numbers EVER, the biggest outside Investment in America in World history, a totally secure Border, a giant Victory in Venezuela, the Denuclearization of Iran, unparalleled respect and success throughout the World, and much more? Don’t believe the Radical Left’s Fake Poll numbers. They are Crooked and Corrupt, just like the Country Destroying Dumocrats are Crooked and Corrupt. VOTE REPUBLICAN FOR GREATNESS IN AMERICA!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday morning.

The screed was among the first after the debut of the $100,000/month “Truth Social API” advertised to investors who want early access to Trump’s posts for an edge on market trading positions divined from presidential messaging. At least the bribery part of it could theoretically end up paying off.

MIGRANT WARNING: Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani said that President Trump was right to warn that the U.S. could face a migration crisis similar to Spain's if Democrats regain power in the 2026 midterm elections https://t.co/RehUPbBS1P

— NEWSMAX (@NEWSMAX) August 3, 2026

A recent study by British gas station security firm Forecourt Eye finds that drivers in the United Kingdom have collectively stolen about £194,000 worth of gas from stations nationwide every day in the last 5+ months since convicted felon President Trump started his illegal war with Iran and fucked up fuel supplies for pretty much every single person on Earth and not just the 77 million Americans stupid and/or amoral enough to have returned the deranged tyrant to power, the BBC reports.

The firm also found numerous instances of “abuse, intimidation and violence from frustrated customers,” raging over price increases that were, again, wrought not by British government policy or business decisions made by the gas stations, but Trump’s feckless attack on Iran and subsequent state of disarray from his inability to conquer the belligerent Islamic dictatorship. It also might help if UK gas stations would just require payment before drivers start pumping. That’s just smart business sense irrespective of any global price spike and it’s simply weird how that isn’t already a thing.

In a sign of just how goddamned stupid everything is, a senior officer in US Central Command last week wrote in an email to what CNN describes as “a broad group of military analysts” that CENTCOM is “looking for new creative and unconventional ways to pressure and punish Iran,” evidently because the top masterminds of 21st century warfare are out of ideas on what to do.

“At the end of the day, POTUS will want a deal, so he’ll continually look for ways to get tough and get out of this,” a source told CNN, adding “You need creative minds at times – especially if you’re running out of conventional options.” This of course assumes that any one individual officer in the Pentagon’s middle management ranks have the full picture and are actually aware of what resources that CENTCOM has at its disposal. Like any one idea could be legitimately great but at the same time be based on an incomplete understanding of the top echelons of the Defense Department.

That’s what leadership is supposed to do and if leadership cannot figure out how the hell to defeat an adversary and is now resorting to sending out an email asking to have a fucking brainstorming session and then it leaks to the media then that’s not really a great sign of how things are going.

In related news Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman Esmaeil Baghaei on Monday denied that there were any talks underway between US and Tehran. The IRGC also shot down at least one US Reaper drone over the Strait of Hormuz, costing US taxpayers however many millions each unit runs for.

The St. John Police Department is investigating a shooting at a fast-food restaurant on Sunday night that left one man injured. https://t.co/0RH3U7qTtC

— KMOV (@KMOV) August 3, 2026

Facing no other choice to find a way to get formally confirmed, Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche late Sunday issued an order saying “although the Acting Attorney General has repeatedly advised Congress through testimony, including under oath, as well as in written responses, that the [$1.776 billion slush fund for Capitol rioters and other MAGA scumbags] is not moving forward, and the Department has repeatedly represented to district courts that the Fund is not moving forward, today’s Order officially rescinds the May 18, 2026 Order,” the Associated Press reports.

Far right MAGA Congressman and all-around shitty human being Max Miller on Sunday announced his refusal to resign his seat or end his reelection bid, Axios reports on a stand that thus far has not cost him the support of fellow abuser convicted felon President Trump, who told reporters on board Air Force One that he’s “gonna look at it. I mean, so far, it’s accusations. I’ll be looking at.”

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan on Sunday wanted so dearly to turn the clock back to 2018 when things were simpler and he could just say “Peter Strzok” – that one anti-Trump “Deep State” FBI agent whose name very few now remember because he got fired who the hell knows how long ago – and that would be suffice to bolster his argument about why this or that line of bullshit was justified. It’s not 2018 anymore and here Gymbo is on CNN once again showing himself to be but a pale shadow of fellow Ohioan JD Vance when it comes to the political soft skills of sophistry and moral relativism. Like he couldn’t even think of anything better than “I don’t know all the facts” to wiggle out of being questioned on the reflecting pool case and whether falsely accused former Olympian David Hearn should be eligible for a payout under the not-dead “anti-weaponization fund.”

Republican Arkansas state Representative Austin McCollum was arrested Saturday on domestic battery charges, prompting Gov Sarah Huckabee Sanders to call for him to resign and for state House leadership to strip McCollum of his leadership positions, the Arkansas Advocate reports.

Actual details of the accusation were not made public yet, but it was bad enough for McCollum to be held without bond with 100 days to go before the jailed pro-“election integrity” conservative faces voters in his campaign for “County Judge,” as in executive of Benton, the state’s second-most populous and home to Walmart’s corporate headquarters. Like in Texas, the title of “county judge” in Arkansas is meaningless in the judicial context. It really should just be “county executive” like it is in most other states as to not confuse the “judge” with actual jurists overseeing statute courts.

More importantly however it’s all but certainly too late for the county GOP to replace McCollum as their nominee as every key deadline has already passed and he can either withdraw within the next week or two or remain on the ballot against indie opponent Taylor Sizemore. Getting McCollum to withdraw and then pushing a write-in campaign is the only real option they have here.

“I disagree 100 percent with Jeanine Pirro, the US Attorney for the District of Columbia, on the Reflecting Pool. I don’t know what she was thinking? To me, it was a pure case of VANDALISM, that included the grass, which had a big 86 47 emblazoned in giant letters on it, and other elements of the surrounding area. There may have been some contractor difficulty, but the major damage was caused by VANDALS!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday, evidently fucking furious that Judge Box-o-Wine’s prosecutors on Friday disclosed that David Hearn did not damage the reflecting pool and it was just a shitty job by the crony contractor that caused the issues.

“The Yemeni militant Houthi group says it’s targeting vital Saudi Arabian energy facilities – a situation that threatens to harden high gasoline prices at a precarious moment for Republicans ahead of the midterms. The Houthis’ target: Abqaiq, the world’s largest crude oil processing facility, which is responsible for stabilizing about 7 percent of the world’s crude oil. Many of its critical components are custom-built and irreplaceable on any short timeline,” writes Politico in the lede to a Friday story headlined “Iran-backed militant group’s threat to Saudi energy hub could upend Trump’s midterm message” that maybe, just maybe, could’ve used another set of eyes before they clicked “publish.”

A fresh set of eyes, one maybe from outside the whole Beltway Media ecosystem that would read it and then, quite reasonably, have said “Hey guys. Um, you come across as just sort of awfully fucking myopic when you deem an imminent disruption to 7 percent of the world’s oil supply as primarily a threat to ‘Trump’s midterm message,’ rather than, you know, the entire global economy.”

“It’s not that’s false to write that such an attack on Abqaiq could come at the ‘worst possible moment for President Donald Trump’ and ‘the Republican majority in Congress,’ so much as that there are another 8 billion people on the planet whose lives and livelihoods would feel an oil shortage much harder than would Donald Trump and the other 272 elected Republicans in DC. So maybe you could have found some space to mention them or – even better – actually put them first and then worked your way toward the domestic political salience of this possible imminent attack on this crucial lynchpin of the global oil supply,” this outsider would have added, quite helpfully.

Yeah, there aren’t any good PG-13 movies left that haven’t already been ran here and yes, HP Lovecraft was a racist asshole. Like beyond just the old “he was a product of his time.” Supposedly Lovecraft moderated quite a bit toward the end of his 47 years, but his most iconic works were still written well in thick of his bigotry and it comes through very heavily in parts. Still, sometimes you gotta separate the art from the artist and Lovecraft produced some quite brilliant written art.

The Shadow Over Innsmouth, printed in some cheap piece of shit pulp magazine and scarcely noticed before Lovecraft’s death, may be his best. It’s a hell of a slow burn that sneaks up on you.

Convicted felon President Trump’s top enforcers on Friday admitted that former US Olympian canoeist David Hearn, indicted earlier this month following his arrest for dipping his hand in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, did not actually inflict any damage upon it and moved to dismiss the indictment. Per now-indie journo Scott MacFarlane, DC US Attorney Judge Box-o-Wine’s team even informed the judge that “Damage to the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool in June 2026 was the result of flawed installation by the contractor,” lol. What a fucking embarrassment and small wonder the drunken hag waited until almost 6:00 PM on a summer Friday to file the motion.

But hey, that doesn’t mean the “pro-algae” libs won’t eventually be caught for their crimes.